Wonderwall

i am singing wonderwall by oasis out LOUD. haha i cannot get this song out of my head. i'm home alone, which gives me the freedom to sing it super loud. lol "i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now." [i sung that as i typed it haha, i need a life] well, that part of the song is so pretty. just thought i'd share it with you guys.

"all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding."

Disgrace to my Race! +]

man, i feel like such a disgrace, i totally didn't know the BET awards came on today. lol i don't really care though. i don't watch BET anyway, so how would i know?
the only reason i WOULD watch it would be for the Michael Jackson tribute. i guess i'll catch the re-run. aim away messages inform me on things around the world. lol
p.s. i actually don't feel like a disgrace, i really don't care. hahahhahahaa [that sounds so evil]

don't read this if you've never seen "into the wild"

omg, he dies? what the freak. i'm really mad right now. like seriously. well, i'm more sad than mad. +(


my heart is completely broken right now.

Michael 2.

so, i have this quote from a paul laurence dunbar poem on my page, and it reminded me of Michael. except i am changing "she" to "he" for Michael.

"he lives and all is bright. he dies and life is night."

Michael.

So, it's taken me two days to write about this stuff. idk man, i'm just finding this hard to believe. deep down, i really hope that this is all a big lie. i want to believe that he is still alive, just like i want to believe that tupac is still alive. I feel that they were geniuses, and i really need to meet them so i can talk to them. after watching finding neverland, i cried. it wasn't actually peter pan, but it was the story of how "neverland" was created. after watching that movie, i thought...no, i was CONVINCED that i would meet Michael Jackson. that's why it has been easier for me these past two days to not believe it. [which is a great defense mechanism for the time being, but when it comes down...idk man] i decided to write about it today because today i feel the saddest about it. last night after performing, i came home to leimert park to see this big thing for him, playing his music and everything. i thought to myself "THIS, this right here is what he would want. not all the sadness." but it just started to overwhelm me, and i got sad. well, i love you soooo much Michael. you will always be in neverland now. you're energy is all around us, and it always will be. thank you for everything. "i'm starting with the man in the mirror, i'm asking him to change his ways." much respect to his family. peaceee

Henry David Thoreau

this dude is one of my heroes. if you don't know who he is, he is the author of "Walden", and he was also a transcendentalist. [along with one of my other heroes, ralph waldo emmerson].
well, he is my hero because he loved a natural life, and wrote about his time...hence...walden. lol
it's weird because i was watching into the wild, but i saw it from the middle, so i changed the channel and set it to record the next day. when i started watching it from the beginning, i saw that "walden" popped up on the screen. ahh, such a beautiful movie, now let me finish watching it. lol
[it takes me like about a week to finish movies because i drag them out so long cause i don't want them to end. lol]

Biggest Wish

this was originally just a bulletin i posted on myspace......

i want to live a simple, natural life. i wanna have a house in the woods too. of course, i wouldn't live there forever. ok, this is my dream house. i know it contradicts the simplicity of my wish, but it's modern/simple.

Quotes anyone?

so, i realized that when i was talking to my friend, i said some pretty funky stuff. lol check it out.

"i think it's good for people to explore different aspects of everything and then decide what they want to believe in. people shouldn't have religion shoved down their throats, but i think they should learn about it. i'm sticking with Christianity though. i know people have kind of tainted it and made it their own, but i believe what i believe to be true."

"religions are basically like philosophies. they're so beautiful when they're pure."

um...

not feeling anything really. other than the fact that i feel worthless/useless. i haven't written a poem in i don't know how long. i haven't talked to my dad
everything is just retarted. i can't wait for the happy posts=]
they'll be here soon. i can feel it.